When I first heard of this concept. I was confused as fuck. What? Love your enemies, love the people who actively hurt others and you. Fuck That. That was before I really took the time to understand the concept.
First I had to redefine the concept of “Love”. Love is what you experience with partners, family, friends and yes even strangers. Love is action that help and uplift others. Acts of love can be just smiling to someone, to setting boundaries, buying a meal etc…to sex.
Before I continue writing this I want to stress this is “NOT” allowing someone to walk all over you, to play games and giving everything to everyone. It about unconditional acceptance of who someone is, not harming back, letting go of people if need be. Ego love is “The one and putting conditions on people such as your friends.” Unconditional Love is I love you for who you even if I no longer want contact. That is unconditional love.
So how does this fit in to choosing people in your life ? Nothing. Do not choose. Instead be presence and allow people to come into your life and allow the relationship to develop naturally and it allows you to let go other who want to leave or do not make a matched effort go without resistance. This does not mean will experience emotions…you will happiness, joy and heartbreak. It means you can experience it, grieve it and then let go to move on with out forcing another person in your life.
When you start acting in love, giving love, giving back and making your intentions pure. Your Just make sure you have boundaries with all on how you want be treated and reasonable expectations (all acts of love).
The power of non-attachment is letting go of the possessiveness, trying to put conditions on someone are all forms of egoistical love.