At 23, I almost succeeded in killing myself….

At 22, I was diagnosed with a chronic mental illness. I had just suffered a psychotic break after receiving a work visa to another country. I moved over there and the illness got out of hand, and the emotions of the illness to much also issues with harassment and bullying with a work place.

I warned a staff member at the hospital was turned away , desperate for relief and not wanting to continue living with so much pain . I took 160 pills of  clonazepam with the hope it would kill me and I would get peace. I felt my life was worthless, that if my friends found out the truth they would hate me or think I am crazy and that my family can’t stand me. So what did I have left to loose was my mentality.

My roommate at the time found me and I was in ICU for 24 hours and hospital 4 days. I am very lucky to be alive and grateful I did not succeed. This was 2013, and now 4 years later , I own a home and back in school to studying social work. I started this blog to tell my story and write about mental illness. My own personal goal is make it less taboo and to be a helpful source to people in need. If you ever contemplating suicide please, contact a love one. Remember, what your feeling is only temporary, things do and will get better.

Oh I opened to all my close friends and family , they still loved me even with the diagnosis. In fact they themselves had a mental health issue to or family member with an issue. We just never talked about it , now that is change and my close friends and I talk about mental health all the time ! We support each other and we advocate for ourselves and others. I was completely wrong about how people would view this diagnosis and can show how opening up may literally save your life.

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