How to protect yourself in life: Boundaries and assertiveness

Throughout life you will have met many people. They way you protect yourself and your energy is having strong personal boundaries internally and with others.  Understand that if someone does not respect your boundaries consistently, reacts in anger towards your boundaries or is inconsistent with their behavior then they do not respect you. If this is the case they maybe trying to use you for personal gain. Being assertive in communication your boundaries will make people either leave your life or understand how you want to be treated. Please know boundaries can be different for each person and should be flexible. If you feel someone behaviour is toxic or is not healthy towards you setting strict but loving boundaries with someone can teach them how to treat you and to stop the behaviour or stop a potential manipulation. 

An example of setting boundaries: ” I love you, but will no longer talk with you regarding this issue. Please find a professional who can assist you.” This is kindly telling a person that you cannot and do not want to talk about this anymore. 

Another example ” I really appreciate our friend, however yours actions ( Be specific) the other day really bothered me, please stop that as it makes me feel uncomfortable.” 

Or ” Hey girl, I am totally down with hanging out when your in the city. Please call me a couple days in advance so we can set a time.  I have a busy schedule. If I do not hear from you, I most likely will not be able to go for a coffee or lunch.” 

The other part is assertiveness, communicating your boundaries in a clear, loving and consistent way with everyone.  Assertiveness is standing up for own rights in positive way. 

Enjoy setting boundaries 🙂

Mia V.

Some articles on setting boundaries.

https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/set-boundaries

How to Set Boundaries with Toxic People

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