It is true what they say, before you can love others, you must love yourself whole. The good, the bad and the ugly. You must accept yourself as a whole to be a loving source to others. That means dealing with your insecurities, trauma so you are not projecting your issue on to someone else.
It maybe taking time to change your behaviour, letting old grievances go, being less hard on yourself and letting go of idealistic love, friendships etc.
Start focusing on loving yourself fully, dealing with your issues respectfully so you can start attracting healthy people in your life that you can grow with, this includes a partner who will love you not possessively, but unconditionally, who will respect your time and energy who will ignite a fire in your soul and friends who help you, inspire you to grow and love you. To to do this, you must become whole.