“I’m not upset that you lied to me, I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche
What to do when you catch someone in a lie, who lied for personal gain?
We have all been in that situation where someone has lied to us- it is not a nice feeling. Interaction with the intent to deceive is never okay. How to react depends on the situation, your limitations and boundaries?
For me, lying to me in that way that is going to cause direct harm to me or cause drama is a deal breaker in any type of relationship. Once you lie to me for personal gain..my last words will be “I am no longer associating with you.”, ” I am done.” or I become a ghost. I do not participate in games and sometimes it is not even worth my time to say anything.
Lying for personal gain-will always back fire. Integrity is the right way to go and will always be rewarded, even if it is not made public.
When someone lies to us for personal gain, it means they do not respect you. The best response is to walk away with no response or distance yourself from the relationship. You can always give another chance, but in doing so you are risking the behavior continuing. If you do give chances then setting a clear consequence if the boundary telling a lie crossed again is a great way assertive skill- For example, if an automatic goodbye is necessary your partner who cheated on you before, cheats on you again.
Whatever you do not harm the liar back, spread vicious rumors or degrade them. Speak the truth but do not cause them deliberate harm, state the facts with integrity if you do talk about the situation.
The best response is to move on.